Where are you settling for second best?
February 18th, 2010 Posted in Clutter Busting, Creating Change, Inspiration & Passion
Have you ever settled for being with someone who wasn’t quite right?
You settled because you didn’t want to be alone, or because you thought this was the best you could have, or because on some level you believed you didn’t deserve to have the love and support of someone who was just right for you?
I imagine we’ve all done that at some point.
How about in the rest of your life - where are you settling?
Take a look at the Life Wheel and rate each area of your life as to how satisfied you are - zero is not in the slightest, 10 is totally 100% satisfied.
Where you have less than a 10 is where you’re settling!
This is not an excuse to beat yourself up - just notice!
I shared this perspective with one of my clients this week and she immediately knew where she was settling. She and her husband have been busy renovating their home - a big and often frustrating job for each of them. And in their busyness they’ve been assuming this is it - get through this busy time then they could enjoy their gorgeous home.
She could barely wait to get off the phone. Turns out underneath, she didn’t really want to be living in that location, nice though the house is. This is a conversation she hadn’t had with herself, or her husband - they were both going along assuming this was it. She found an opportunity and the courage to bring this up with him - and guess what? He realized it wasn’t where he wanted to be long term either. They now have a 3-year plan to complete the renovations and find the perfect location for each of them.
Don’t you think this has infused their lives with passion and excitement which will impact all areas of their lives? I wouldn’t be surprised with this new energy if their next move happens a lot sooner than they expect. They’ll certainly have renewed energy to complete the renovations!
It’s easy to be busy living your life and on some level settling for second best. If there’s an area of your life you are not satisfied with: relationship, finances, health, career, creativity, travel, anything - it’s because you’ve settled. And once you know that, you have a choice.
Perhaps there are many areas you’re not at a 10 in - choose one to look at!
Be curious. What assumptions have you been making? That this is all that’s possible for you? That what you have is better than nothing and you should be grateful? That you don’t have a choice?
Is any of that really true?
You were not born to live a life at a 1 or 2 or even just at a 5! That’s what we have over other beings - we have choice and we were also born to live a life of passion and fun and making a difference in the world. It’s hard to do that if you’re tolerating a life that’s not quite what you want. Where you’re tolerating all kinds of things. That’s a major form of clutter and blocked energy!
So this week - take a look at the Life Wheel - or just ask yourself: where am I dissatisfied or not having as much fun as I’d like?
Choose one area for now - is there a conversation you need to have with someone? Perhaps you just need to know you have a choice - you can settle for what you have - or you can create something much more inspiring, magical and exciting for yourself.
What will it be?
As always, I’d love to hear what you’re making space for.
©2010 All Rights Reserved - Vicky White
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