Everything Changes - last post here

NOTE: this is the last post to appear here as I’m closing my Life Design Strategies site, and have launched my new site -please come subscribe to my new site at: The Spacious Life - Thanks for being part of my community.  I look forward to seeing you there - you can read more about my whole transition below. — Love, Vicky

I’ve reinvented myself many times. We all have.

I’ve usually been pretty sure what was next.

Hitch hiking around South America for 9 months when I was 21, moving to London to be a photographer in my 20’s, buying a canal boat in the UK my 30’s, going to live in Arizona for five years in my 40’s, buying a houseboat in Vancouver in my 50’s…… all involved stepping into the unknown.

Each time I knew exactly what I wanted. And I manifested it easily.

Lately there is something else driving me. It’s more about what I want to FEEL. Which is after all what all my previous ‘wants’ have been about - I just didn’t think of them in that way. And the trouble with that is, often what we want to FEEL get’s lost in translation!

I started my coaching business because I wanted to make a difference. I wanted to support my own ‘personal growth’ passion, I wanted to mix with like minded people, I wanted to create things, I wanted the freedom of having my own business. I heard you could coach from wherever you were….a beach, a different country, another time zone. Have a phone and an internet connection and you’re set, they said.

I know I’ve made a difference. I’ve been able to indulge in my favorite books and programs and have them be tax deductible even. I’ve met awesome people and made lasting friendships. I’ve grown, learned valuable lessons, become more of who I really am. I’ve created things, chosen my own hours and have worked from New Zealand, the US, Mexico and other places.

And, I’ve also spent way too much time on my computer. I’ve come to feel my life is not very spacious. I’ve been taking very few photographs, attending way too few retreats myself, doing not enough traveling. And as for my desire to speak Spanish fluently……nada!

It was exactly one year ago today that I left hospital after my hip replacement - what an awesome birthday present that was. This year has been largely recovering from that one, and another surgery earlier this year.

Now I’m ready to step into the next part of my life - to reinvent myself yet again. And I don’t know what that will look like.

I have my houseboat on the market because I want to feel free. I was brought up in New Zealand where in those days 85% of the population owned their own homes. Recently I’ve begun to question that wisdom for myself. It’s fine if you want to stay in one place for a long time.

What I do know is that I want to live a spacious life. That is the primary feeling I’m going for. Spaciousness to me is about feeling at peace with myself, feeling free to make choices and follow my heart, feeling abundant and healthy and feeling connected with myself so I hear the whispers and can follow my inner wisdom. Its about inspiration and passion. Cutting the busy, busy stuff that keeps me distracted.

It’s about conscious spending. Living with less stuff than we’ve been taught we need. Treading lightly on the planet. Taking time for what’s important. Living my values…..

My theme for this coming year is to follow my inner guidance.

It’s about stepping into the unknown. It takes trust!

I know I’m always taken care of - I have been till now, who why would that change?

My worst moments in life so far have been when I’ve felt off track with myself. (the hip pain was pretty bad too). The worst I can imagine is that one day at the end of my life I have regrets for not going for those feelings I want and not doing the things that will give me those feelings.

It’s about shifting my focus and going for what I want to feel. It makes a difference.

What I want to be feeling: spacious, free in all areas of my life, creative, guided, loved, living my truth, passionate, abundant, connected to myself and others.

What this might look like …. photography, travel, sunshine, meeting my soul-mate, living in an RV, buying a tiny home, Ecuador, learning Spanish, going on retreats, writing, being creative, having fun!

And coaching adventurous women who are ready to take their own leap of faith and go for the feelings that bring a sense of wholeness and purpose.

My focus will be the feelings I want to embody.

So, today I’d like to invite you to take a look at my new website, our new home. No need to subscribe again as I’ll be transferring my current list over.

Here it is: The Spacious Life

If YOU are ready to take a leap into your TRUTH, connect with me and apply for a complimentary discovery call. Let’s see if we can have some fun together.

What stops you living a spacious life?

Thank you for it all!

Canada had Thanksgiving a few weeks ago, and now we get to reflect again on what we are grateful for.

Here are my thoughts….

I am grateful for you, my dear readers. You are the wind beneath my sales. As I’ve changed and evolved over the years, so has this newsletter. I’ve floundered at times, I’ve felt uninspired at times, I’ve struggled with life’s challenges, and I’ve even struggled with myself - which is definitely a game I could not win! And through all this I’ve had you sending me emails, good thoughts, support - you’ve had my back! And in the end I am here writing this because of you. Thank you for inspiring me, encouraging me, working with me, buying the products I create. Thank you for your requests, suggestions and feedback along the way - thank YOU!

I am grateful for 11 years of having such wonderful clients to work with. Clients who took their courage in their hands and stepped out of their comfort zones. Clients who trusted me to support them and help them reach what they said they wanted. One thing’s for sure - tell me you have a passion you’d like to live……you knew I would not let you settle. I’ve loved working with you in programs, at retreats, in person, on the phone, and 1:1. You rock!

I’m grateful for the hard stuff too. This year, 2012 has been a tough one for many, and I’m no exception. I’m grateful for the stuff that’s had me stretching, and sometimes kicking and screaming, and has had me keeping on going when I felt like giving up. A year of huge changes all around. A year of challenges, breakthroughs, surgeries, taking time to listen to my soul. I’m aware that if I had a trust fund, I would not have made the same breakthroughs I have. I would not have been quite so committed to myself, to others and to discovering what my business wanted to be when it grew up! I’m still discovering that. I’m thankful for the lessons.

I’m grateful for the things I’ve always been tested by…. creating space in my life for my best to come through, stopping the busy stuff, being aware of where my focus is…..and more.

I’m grateful for my friends and family, and for my community. My friends and family have always been the best - some from many miles away. My community has given me tremendous support through the health issues I’ve dealt with in the last year - I truly do not know how I could have done it otherwise.

I’m grateful for my mentors and the mastermind groups I’ve been part of - we don’t know what we cannot see! (this is starting to feel like an end of year wrap up - with one month to go, but this is the end of a year for ME)

What are you grateful for? Please share!

My biggest news in eleven years!

Did Oprah call?  Did I fall in love and elope to somewhere warm where I can be found sitting on a beach with a blissed out look on my face?

Hmmm, maybe these things need to go on my list!

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I have two pieces of news for you.  Yes, TWO!
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Firstly, you probably know I thrive on reinvention.  Eleven years is a long time for me to do anything, a long time to live in one country, even!

So….here it is! Next week on my birthday, November 27, Life Design Strategies is closing it’s doors.  Well, we don’t exactly have doors, and the website will still be up for a short time, but my focus will be elsewhere.

You know how I say the best way to declutter is to empty everything out of your room/closet/desktop….business…..and only put back what really lights your fire?

Well, that’s what I’ve been doing.

Read the rest of this entry »

What’s your relationship status?

When you think about your most precious relationship - what defines it? 

How about: acceptance, being there for each other, support, trust, connection, fun, truth, freedom, wanting to be with each other, generosity, commitment, love, respect, gratitude, maybe sensuality….?

Anything else? 

But, how would you feel if someone you were in a relationship with wanted nothing to do with you? They cringed everytime you called. Or perhaps they didn’t pick up when they saw it was you on their caller ID. They said you were important, but they acted like they really didn’t care that much about you. They didn’t trust you and tried to get rid of you. They never talked about you with family and friends.

Pretty weird relationship, huh? How long would that last?

Anything you have a interraction with on a daily basis is something you have a relationship with. People, animals, your business, food, money……yes, money!

How’s your relationship with money? Is it a precious relationship? Or more like the weird one above?

Does money want to stick around? If not, do you blame it?

Here are 5 ways to upgrade your relationship with money so it actually WANTS to stick around.

Read the rest of this entry »

You can run but you cannot hide!

One of my clients, let’s call her Ruth, told me that the more stuff she lets go of and the more she creates space in her life and comes closer to living the life she really wants, the more she seems to be eating, and checking emails, and watching television. She says it’s as if she’s trying to fill a big hole.

Interesting because I have a theory about women’s weight gain in mid-life. I know there’s all the hormonal stuff going on. But I also know this is the time women wake up to what is missing in their lives. They feel a pull towards something more real, and something greater. They come to see how they’ve been supporting everyone else’s dreams and had forgotten about their own.

My theory is that with all this emotional energy flying around - letting go of the old and becoming more sensitive to what is missing, any holes in the soul are revealed, and this can be scary. Perfect time to create some distractions - like stuffing down the feelings with food, or checking emails yet again, or watching television, shopping - anything to try to fill in the hole where some part of you got left behind.

It’s about denial.

There are parts of yourself that have been lost along the way and that makes sustaining success impossible.

So, what happens when you try to reinvent your life?

You can change partners, move to another country or another part of your own country, change careers, start over in some way. And, you take yourself wherever you go. Your soul has a way of not letting you forget that hole you have. That part of yourself YOU have forgotten!

Sometimes in an attempt to fill that hole, you dig yourself an even deeper hole, with debt, extra weight, health issues, relationship troubles or worse.

You’re going to keep creating situations that give you an opportunity to heal and reclaim that part of yourself you’ve been resisting. As it keeps bubbling up, there is no amount of food you can eat, or things you can buy, or emails you can check, that will fix it.

The truth is right in front of you when you look at your life. Your life is what it is.

We all have these places. It’s what life is about, to learn what we are here to learn and to remember who we really are.

I’ve reinvented myself many times. Different countries, different careers, different environments. It became clear to me very early on that wherever I went, I took myself with me. Leaving New Zealand to be as far away from my mother as possible in the UK, didn’t work. There she was in my head! And anyway, it was really only ever about me, and there I was!

The only way reinventing yourself works is to do it very consciously. If you notice you’re eating when you’re not hungry, you’re compulsively checking emails, or spending money or playing out any other unconscious patterns - it’s a good sign you’re avoiding feeling something and you’re trying to fill a hole you’ve dug in your soul - and it’s not going to go away by itself. If you do not want to keep creating the same outcomes, it’s worth taking a look.

Here are some places to start.

1. Take a look at yourself in the mirror. Imagine you don’t know the person staring back at you - describe the person you see (lovingly!). Look at their bank balance, their finances, their future, their plan for life, relationships, how they talk to themselves, how they dress. Let it reflect back to you, the truth about your habits, lifestyle and choices.

2. See anything uncomfortable? Ask yourself: why did I choose this? Perhaps deep down you don’t feel worthy of love. Perhaps you were taught it was good to struggle. Or that rich people are evil. Perhaps you doubt your own ability to make a difference in the world, or the value of your own gifts. Perhaps something hurt you deeply at some point and part of you shut down.

The truth is always there in front of you. And it’s not too late to make different choices. Why DID you create this? Why WOULD you create this? There has to be a payoff for you. Remember, you are gathering information, shining a light on something that’s been buried deep. This is an opportunity to love yourself for even daring to look.

3. Ask yourself what you’re moving towards. So often when you feel drawn to reinvent yourself, it becomes about what you are moving away from. Good to know. And the more honest and intentional you can be about what you really want, the more chance you have of creating that. And the clearer you’re going to get about what might be standing in your way.

4. Take a look at your environment. Your environment is a reflection of your inner self. The things you’ve surrounded yourself with, the way you’ve arranged things, the colors on your walls. If none of this changes you’ll be pulled back into the self you used to be, even if you make inner changes. Or you’ll create the same patterns in your new surroundings. Your home is a living vision board - question everything and especially things you’ve had for so long you barely see them any more. You are no longer the same person.

5. What part of yourself do you need to reclaim? What got lost along the way? Not so easy to see when you’re in denial. One way to do it is in journaling - write, write, write - and ask questions of your soul. If you are serious about wanting answers, ask! I did and within a couple of days I became aware of exactly what I was in denial about. I asked: what am I not seeing? And the answer came back within two days. Faster than Canada Post!

Discover the truth about yourself. Write the letter you need to write. Acknowledge what you have always wanted to do. Feel your anger. Make that apology. Discover why you’ve made the choices you’ve made. Ask the hard questions of yourself. Forgive yourself and others. What is the truth about your life and where you’re going? Who are you really? Reclaim parts of yourself you’ve left behind.

This is about integrity and wholeness and living fully. Hard to do that when you’re pushing down what you don’t want to see. And I know from my own experience and that of my clients - when you shine a light on these dark places, it’s never as bad as you expect!

Go for it. it’s worth it, I promise!

I love this quote from Elizabeth Gilbert.

“If you’re brave enough to leave behind everything familiar and comforting, which can be anything from your house to bitter, old resentments, and set out on a truth-seeking journey, either externally or internally, and if you are truly willing to regard everything that happens to you on that journey as a clue and if you accept everyone you meet along the way as a teacher and if you are prepared, most of all, to face and forgive some very difficult realities about yourself, then the truth will not be withheld from you.”

What are you in denial about?  Want to share?

Are you barely keeping your head above water, or are you a true clutter buster?

Do you feel like the sorcerer’s apprentice? No matter how much stuff you clear away it keeps coming and coming and……?

Well, there’s cleaning and there’s clutter busting.

Here’s the difference: cleaning you do and the next day it needs doing again. True clutter busting is stopping it at the source. One of the things I talk about in my programs is how ‘20 minutes is your friend’. Twenty minutes a day of decluttering gets through a lot of clutter over time. However, I have clients who spend one hour a day and still feel they’re barely keeping up - the pile isn’t getting too much smaller.

If this sounds like you, here are 5 Tips for Stopping Clutter Where it Begins.

1. Have a system for papers that come in to your home. Firstly get yourself off mailing lists and catalogue lists you no longer want. (This too relates to Tip#4 - Reduce your Desire for More).

If papers are going to come into your home, have what you need nearby - recycling bin, shredder, folder for bills, paperclips, staplers. And deal with things immediately so they don’t pile up. It’s easy that way. If it takes you more than a few minutes each day - that could be a sign you have too much arriving and you need to cut to the source!

2. Create a weekly meal plan: Different things will work for different people. You may be someone who takes great pleasure in looking through recipe books and planning out special meals. Or you maybe someone who keeps it really simple. I can go either way depending on my mood.

One of my clients described what she and her husband do. They eat mainly raw food - so their main meals consist of a protein and a big salad. They buy 20 pieces of fruit a week and a bag of frozen berries - that’s their morning smoothie. Then a small amount of protein for each day, and a whole lot of vegetables. Dinner is easy - taking the veggies out of the fridge, making a salad and putting back what doesn’t get used. At the end of the week any veggies left over go into a soup. Often they’ll cook extra at the main meal so they can add some chicken or meat to their lunches.

This way, shopping is really easy. If you find yourself standing in front of the fridge asking what’s for dinner, or going to the supermarket several times a week - this is definitely cluttering up your life and wasting your precious energy. What system would work for you so you do one main shop each month for basics and one or at the most 2 shops during the week?

Read the rest of this entry »

Living life to BE somewhere, not to GET somewhere!

I love being known as someone who makes things happen. In fact my identity has been firmly wrapped in my ability to manifest things fast. I can turn on a dime, move to another country, change careers, reinvent myself.

No hanging about for me! Oh no!

I know how to make things happen fast….. 

And I know about transitions.

Transitions mean living in the gap, living in the space between things, not knowing what’s next, or not knowing how or when the ‘next’ will happen. Making friends with the unknown, trusting divine timing. Trusting we are exactly where we need to be to move to the next step. Letting go of the when’s and how’s. This is where the loose ends get tied, the past is completed, and we prepare the ground for a smooth transition. It’s magical.

While I’ve experienced my share of powerful transitions, the option I’ve favored in the past is the lightening fast change - which is sometimes just perfect.

But here’s the thing….

Four years ago I got clear that living near water was a passion of mine and I decided to get curious about what might be possible. Immediately I attracted articles about houseboats, I was led to websites about houseboats, and a friend happened to mention she knew someone selling their houseboat. Within two weeks I had put an offer on a houseboat, and a week later I had sold my condo to the first person who looked at it. It was like magic. My Sell Your Home Faster audio program flew off the shelves.

And here’s something I haven’t said about that whole process.

It was stressful!

Read the rest of this entry »

Disgusted, outraged, vulgar??

This week I sent what I thought was a fairly harmless email to my list, and this is what came back!

“A day or two ago I received an email from you that used vulgar language in the subject line. If that sort of email continues, I will be forced to unsubscribe and/or block your messages”.

Slap my wrist with a limp noodle!

So what was the offending subject line?

Shield your eyes if you’re a nun or have lived a very sheltered life!

Here it is: “This sucks, but not for much longer!”

An email about my Debt Freedom Plan!  And yes, I do think it sucks to have debt stop you living the life you dream of!  There, I said it again!

I received 10 emails in response to my email. Nine of them said things like: it made me laugh, thank you for doing what you do, sounds great!

But of course, it’s easier to focus on that one.

So, what did I do?

Read the rest of this entry »

How much is clutter costing you?

Clutter is emotional constipation - it clogs up every area of your life and stops the energy flowing. It stops you living the life you are here to live.

You absorb and reflect the energy in your environment. If you’re surrounded by things, people, situations you’re tolerating at best, and gripping about at worst, then your energy is going to be pulled down. The energy you put out into the world is what’s going to come back to you.

If money is not flowing as well as it might, this is how clutter could be costing YOU money: Read the rest of this entry »